


The Monsters Are Here (The Monsters Are Me)

by Essie



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, marvel comics incursions
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Civil War fixit, Happy Ending, Hickman Avengers, Hurt/Comfort, Incursions Fixit, M/M, Self-Hatred, Sorcerer Supreme!Tony, all abuse mentioned is canon events, because superheroes, discussions of domestic abuse, more morally complex than that though, more politics than I intended, no actual abuse occurs in this fic, possibly triggery for getting back together with an abusive ex, set in that one AU where Tony is Sorcerer Supreme, some one-sided Doom/Tony, steve and tony deal with their crap, supporting those who need support, working through all of these things in a healthy manner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9067123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essie/pseuds/Essie
Summary: Ten years after the final incursion, Tony Stark is Sorcerer Supreme, Doctor Doom is trying to enslave the world and Steve Rogers just wants to be left alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KagekaNecavi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagekaNecavi/gifts).



> This takes place in that alternate future during the incursions run where Tony is Sorcerer Supreme. Basically if you are familiar with Hickman's recent run on Avengers you should be good. Knowledge of the events of Civil War wouldn't hurt either.

Tony hated magic. 

Some people assumed it was because he believed in science. Those people bought into the false equivalency that science and magic were diametrically opposed. They were wrong of course. Science was merely the study of observable phenomena and, as the fireball zooming past Tony’s head proved, magic was most definitely observable phenomena. 

No, Tony hated magic because it was  _ theoretical science _ that  _ nobody had the math to explain yet _ . And Tony was not a theoretical scientist; he was an engineer.

He didn’t just want to observe and record data so that he could understand the universe. He wanted to understand the universe so that he could  _ do something useful with it. _

Unfortunately for Tony, his whole life consisted of doing and being things he hated, so it was well within expected parameters that he now held the title Sorcerer Supreme. Not that it was doing anything particularly useful for him.

“Iron Man, Sorcerer Supreme, you have lost.” A deep voice spoke from across the room. Tony didn’t move from his crouch behind a desk to look over at the speaker. “Not even your genius and power could outmatch the glory of Doom. Stop fighting and join me in my victory.”

_ Was Victor Von Doom trying to get him to surrender or hitting on him? _

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.” Tony said while he concentrated on building up a spell with his already overtaxed spell-working battery.

“Be reasonable,” Doom continued, and boy did he love to hear his own voice. “Your knowledge is great and your magic is strong but you cannot outmatch me on your own. You have no hope of success in the heart of my land and against my army of doombots.”

“Maybe I’m just saving the best for last,” Tony tried, hoping Doom would take the bait and continue talking about himself. It worked.

“And if you win this battle? You cannot hope to control the Crystal of Idolatry. I have already activated it, and the people do not love you as they love Doom.”

“Ok….that’s kind of a good point you have.” Tony admitted with a wince. 

Doom was right of course; the crystal’s power was based on how much sway the wielder already had with the victim. Now that Doom had used it to brainwash the world into worshipping him, it would take someone of equal or greater influence to counter the effects. And Tony, sadly, was not as well liked by the general populace as Victor Von Doom. 

Tony couldn’t really blame anyone for hating him, but he’d never understand what drew people to a selfish aggrandizing narcissist who used all of his power to bankrupt his country and build his own personal army. Losing a popularity contest to Doctor Doom was possibly the most pathetic thing that had ever happened to him, and Tony had once been found by his very handsome best friend face down in a sewer drain incontinent and drunk off his mind.

This all brought him back to how much he hated magic. Only magic could make something as ridiculous as an enchanted rock that liked the popular kids better. How did he get himself into this gig? You save the world with some magical stuff one time and then your no-good friend goes and bequeaths you all his shit and assigns you a bunch of homework from the grave. He wondered if he could resurrect Stephen Strange and make him take his damn job back. Of course Tony knew better than to resort to necromancy and he didn’t exactly have an in with Death, unless you counted Wade Wilson and no. Just no.

“But you are smart, powerful, beautiful and talented.” Doom continued in what sounded like he might be going for a gentle tone. Alright, so Doom  _ was _ hitting on him. Tony wasn’t sure what to do with that information. “You are so much better than them and they revile you. They call you a liar and a drunk. You have done so much for them and they spit on you. Is this not better? They will love those deserving of their love, and through Doom they will see clearly at last.”

“Um,” Tony said awkwardly “I don’t know how to tell you this gently, so I’m just gonna come out and say it, , but you’re not really my type.”

Tony could practically feel Doom smirk behind him, as though he thought Tony was lying. And really, classically attractive intelligent people who had tried to kill him on multiple occasions were definitely not his type. Yeah ok, who was he kidding, he liked them mean. But that was neither here nor there. What was important here was that he had said no, and you needed to listen to what a person said in these matters and not whatever you think may or may not be going on in their pants.

“You could rule beside me,” Doom said as if having  _ more  _ responsibility was somehow enticing to Tony.

“Isn’t that the same offer you made Wanda a while back?” Tony asked and he could feel the spell weaving out from him. He needed to keep Doom distracted so that he didn’t notice what Tony was doing.

“An offer which she happily accepted. And we did have such a nice time together.” Doom reminisced.

“She was brainwashed and she tried to kill you.” Tony deadpanned.

“Semantics,” Doom said, and the man was so delusional Tony was pretty sure he actually believed that. “You can’t judge a relationship based on the breakup. Everyone has their bad moments.”

“You really are a glass half full kind of guy,” Tony whistled; and there he almost had it.

“Whereas you, Mr. Stark, see only the worst in every situation,” Doom was coming towards his position now and Tony was going to have to make his move. “Such a pessimist. Doesn’t it get tiring always seeing the glass half empty.”

“You’re wrong,” Tony stood and made a wave with his hand, activating the spell, “I’m an engineer. I think the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”

And then the whole building came crashing down on them.

  
  


That collapsed mansion would only hold Doom for so long, Tony knew. Doctor Doom had undoubtedly survived the crash and would soon be out and causing trouble. That was okay; the collapse was only meant to be a distraction anyways. Bringing down a building was easy, carving yourself an escape route under the nose of another powerful sorcerer, well that was the hard part. And not to be too full of himself but Tony was pretty proud that it had worked as well as it had.

But that all still left the problem of the crystal. Tony had hoped when he went to retrieve it from Latveria that it wouldn’t have been activated yet. So much for plan A. With it activated Tony was going to have to call in reinforcements, and fast, before the crystal’s influence spread out from Latveria and over the globe. Tony gave it a total of two days max for that kind of magic to reach every human mind on earth. Doomearth was not a planet Tony wanted to live on.

He was going to need to call in some help.

Ms. Marvel was the obvious choice. She was well-loved and even if she hadn’t been a good friend she was kind and never turned down a chance to help someone. Unfortunately, Kamala and the avengers team she was leading was off-planet at the moment, so that was a no go.

He could try Captain America. But no that wouldn’t work either. Sam had his hands full fighting the Red Skull and trying to resist Hydra after their recent coup into the heart of the American government. Sam couldn’t be spared from that fight no matter how grave the situation with Doom.

Tony briefly entertained the idea of sending Senator Knowles an email to see if she’d assist. There wasn’t anyone on Earth more adored by the public, what with her smash career as a pop singer and her equally successful political one. The good senator could easily reprogram the crystal of idolatry. But of course, she was also fighting Hydra, and in congress no less. No, the people needed their hero, especially in a time like this.

Tony briefly went through his list of celebrity acquaintances , but none of the rest would be able to hold their own in a combat zone against Doctor Doom. He couldn’t justify bringing them in only to get them killed.

That left one person. And wasn’t this just going to be fun. Tony really hated magic.

 

Steve opened the door with a glare and Tony’s heart felt like it was dying just from the sight of Steve. God he was beautiful.

“Tony,” Steve said his name like an accusation. “What are you doing here?”

“I need your help,” Tony said and hoped that the truth was enough to get him in the front door.

Steve stared at him and for a tense moment Tony thought that he was going to have to suck it up and call Senator Knowles after all, but then Steve moved and motioned through the door.

“You’d better come in.”

 

Steve crossed his arms and leaned back against his counter, expression closed as Tony explained the situation to him. The position should have looked relaxed but Steve seemed an unyielding mountain, cold and carved from stone.

“I don’t see what this has to do with me,” Steve said once Tony was finished. “I’m not exactly the most qualified superhero to combat Doctor Doom.”

“Weren’t you listening?” Tony asked, “I don’t need you to combat him, I need you to reverse the effects of the Crystal. I don’t have anywhere near the sway with the public that Doom has.”

“And you couldn’t think of anyone better suited to do that than me,” Steve challenged, and Tony didn’t know why he was being so dense. Was he just fighting to fight?

“Well Kamala’s out of town and Sam and Beyoncé are busy fighting Red Skull. That just about kills my rolodex of crime fighting superstars,” Tony tried but Steve just looked more outraged by Tony’s words.

“You were going to take  _ Senator Knowles _ to fight Doctor Doom!”

He was just fighting to fight.

Tony clenched his jaw and took a deep calming breath through his nose.

“No, I did not take Senator Knowles to fight Doctor Doom,” he said, words slow and measured, “I came here instead and asked for your help.”

Steve looked away and said nothing, which Tony knew meant that Steve had realized Tony was right. That was the best you could hope for from a man who was pathologically incapable of admitting he was wrong. After a moment, Steve spoke.

“And what makes you think I have enough star power to work this crystal.” He spat the words ‘Star Power’ like they had personally offended him.

“Are you kidding,” Tony snorted. “You’re Steve Rogers: Super soldier. The original Captain America. You’re definitely more loved by the people than Doom.”

“I don’t know, the last time I made a public appearance you were still calling yourself Iron Man.” Steve said it like an accusation and Tony flinched. It hurt that Steve would ever use Iron Man against him, the one good thing he’d done in his miserable life. That Steve would think he would give something like that up if he didn’t absolutely have to. God had Steve ever really known him at all?

“You know I never stopped being Iron Man,” Tony said, knowing he was rising to the bait but unable to stop himself.

“Really?” Steve arched an eyebrow his words mocking, “That outfit certainly says otherwise, Mr. Sorcerer Supreme Sir.”

“Hey!” Tony exclaimed. “Don’t knock the costume. The fabulous cape and goatee combo is the best part of this craptastic gig.”

Steve snorted. It was a derisive sound but when he spoke the words were almost sad.

“The Tony Stark I used to know hated magic. Complained every time we had to fight someone with magic. But I guess you never really know a person.”

“Steve,” Tony tried gently, reaching out a hand reflexively before dropping it awkwardly into the void between them. “I’m still that Tony Stark. I still hate magic. I wouldn’t have taken this job if I’d had another choice.”

Steve laughed at that ,  but it wasn’t a good sound. It was hollow and bitter like the rind of a rotted lemon.

“That’s always the story with you isn’t it,” he said. “You never have any choice. You’re just being forced into doing these things you hate.”

This was not about Tony being Sorcerer Supreme. It never had been. But it had been ten years, and Tony was tired of this fight. He was  _ exhausted. _ Doctor Doom had the Crystal of Idolatry and he was going to turn the entire world into his adoring slaves unless they stopped him. Tony just did not have the energy to do this song and dance with Steve.

“Do you really have a problem with me using magic,” Tony said slowly trying to keep any accusation out of his tone, “or do you just want to start a fight? Because if that’s the case, I can think of a better place to direct your energy.”

Steve looked away, and Tony thought that might be shame in his gaze, but who could say with the man. Sometimes he wondered if Steve was even capable of experiencing shame; maybe it was one of his supersoldier abilities. Steve was always so sure of himself, so certain that he was doing the right thing. It was one of his most insufferable qualities. But Tony wondered what it must be like to never feel shame or regret or self-loathing. He might as well wonder what it was like to not need to breathe.

“Right,” Steve said with that signature determination of his and Tony lost his breath altogether. “So, what’s the plan?”

 

Thwarting Doom’s plan was old hat once he had Steve’s help. Tony engaged Doom in one on one combat, because they had very similar power sets, and Doom was easily distracted by single man engagement. He liked the attention. Steve took on the doombots with his usual militaristic directness. Tony was tactfully turning down another proposal of marriage when Steve reached the crystal.

“You’ll have to excuse me, gorgeous,” Doom bowed to him, actually bowed, before aiming a spell at Steve. Tony intercepted the spell deflecting it harmlessly towards a doombot, because this was not his first rodeo thank you very much. Steve shot Tony a look.

“You have the worst taste in men,” he quipped.

“Yes, ha ha, you’re hilarious,” Tony said. “Maybe less witty banter and more fixing the whole angry horde at the gate thing.”

Steve glanced out the window down the length of the very tall very dramatic castle-like tower to where a mass of poor brain washed people had come to do Doctor Doom’s bidding. Tony really hoped the good Doctor hadn’t decided to call this place Mount Doom, because the architecture was eerily familiar and the weather was just too green for that sort of homage.

Doom laughed. “You do not have the power or knowledge to wield the Crystal of Idolatry. Only Doom possesses such greatness.”

Steve glanced at Tony.

“It’s real easy,” Tony assured him. “Just point and click.”

Steve shrugged and raised the crystal out in front of him. The world was enveloped by a blindingly bright light and then Tony was blinking the spots out of his eyes and Doom was gone. Of course he was. The man was so rude. He never stayed for cleanup.

Tony came to stand beside Steve, slipping the crystal from Steve’s hand into his pocket.

“This thing is getting locked up in a vault in some pocket dimension,” he grumbled.

Steve was looking down at the mass of people milling about below the tower with a frown on his face.

“It worked,” he said.

“Well, yeah” Tony nodded. “It’s really not that complex of a thing. Damaging sure, but pretty simple to work all things considered.” Steve didn’t react to Tony’s words he just kept watching the people down below with a troubled look.

“People need to be more careful about who they look up to,” he said solemnly.

Tony snorted. “Yeah I think the election proved that one.”

Steve didn’t speak, but he looked sad and tired and every one of his 100 odd years. Tony winced, realizing he probably shouldn’t have brought up the Democratic election of fascists into the American government to an American soldier that had spent his entire career trying to stop the spread of Natzi ideals. 

“I mean, look, people are always going to be enthralled by charismatic sons of bitches because that’s just human nature.” Tony continued speaking, because he was an idiot and didn’t know when to shut up. “We’re kind of crap in a lot of ways, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t worth saving. Just because a bunch of people who don’t know him, think Doctor Doom is dreamy doesn’t necessarily mean those same people can’t also do kind and good things.”

A small half smile fluttered across Steve’s face, and Tony was counting that as a win.

“I mean hey,” he tried with an inviting grin. “At least they all knew well enough to trust you more.”

The faint smile fell from Steve’s face, and the man looked as desolate and unhappy as he ever had. Tony searched his mind frantically for what he had said wrong. The moment stretched on and Tony watched the fractal light of the dusk reflect off Steve’s miserable and beautiful face.

“They shouldn’t trust me either.” The words fell into the empty space between them heavy like metal weights, hitting the floor before Tony had even noticed they were falling.

“Am I missing something here?” Tony tried. “Because from where I’m standing you just freed them from Doctor Doom’s mind control and gave them back their lives. They’re right to have trusted you.”

“Maybe about this,” Steve allowed. “But they shouldn’t be looking up to me in the first place,” he paused. “Not after what I’ve done.”

Tony paused, his brain shifting gears. He didn’t know what Steve could possibly have done that it would affect him this heavily, but they lived in difficult lives and made hard decisions all the time, not to mention all the many cases of mind control in their line of work. If Steve had been forced to do something he didn’t think was right he might still feel responsible even if he knew logically that it hadn’t been his fault. Psychology 101. Tony couldn’t think of any situation like that that Steve had been involved in recently though. Not that that meant anything; they’d been doing their best to avoid each other for years.

“And what is it you’ve done,” Tony asked as carefully as he could, trying to appear as non-accusatory as possible, but that wasn’t the right answer because Steve rounded on him, eyes flashing with anger and pain.

“You know what I’ve done, Tony.” Steve’s voice was raw and Tony knew that tone, pain and a self-hatred so deep you thought you were going to die from the sheer weight of how horrible you knew you were.

Nothing should ever make Steve Rogers feel like that.

“Steve,” he gentled. “You haven’t done anything-”

But Steve broke in, a strangled confession bursting its way out of his throat like a beast from its cage, “I beat you!”

“You-” Tony broke off. “What?”

Steve looked away and Tony’s brain tried to wrap its way around that confession. What was Steve talking about? When had this even happened? Was he missing time? He felt like he’d messed with something in Reed’s lab and stumbled into an alternate universe.

“Ok,” Tony said slowly. “When did this happen?”

“Which time?” The dryness of Steve’s tone did nothing to hide the disgust.

“Um,” Tony was very lost here.

“Right before the final incursion, when I found out that you had wiped my mind,  _ twice _ during the fight over registration,” Steve listed off and Tony was having a hard time keeping up because that had all been at least ten years ago. Had Steve been carrying this guilt around all this time?

“My personality was inverted,” Tony countered slowly, wondering how Steve had missed this key point, before continuing, countering each instance with much needed context. “My personality was inverted  _ and I had just mind wiped you, _ and for the last two we were at war.”

“I didn’t know about the personality inversion the first time; I was just angry.” Steve argued.

“And you had every right to be,” Tony said. He took a deep breath. “It’s part of the job. Sometimes bad shit happens and you have to fight your friends and lovers. We’ve all been there.  _ You’ve _ been there.”

“It wasn’t about the job,” Steve exclaimed raising his voice, “Don’t you get it? I wasn’t thinking about the job or doing what was right, I was just thinking about how much you’d hurt me and how angry I was. I was thinking about making you feel as much pain as I was feeling because I loved you  _ so much _ and apparently when I love someone I show it with my fists.”

There was silence as they stared at each other and Tony’s could feel his heart break looking at all the pain and shame in Steve’s perfect azure eyes.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about this?” Tony could hear the hurt in his own voice but didn’t think there was anything he could do about it.

“I might not be a paragon of heroism and virtue,” Steve said dryly. “But I know better than to ask my ex-boyfriend to comfort me about how painful abusing him was for me.”

“Ok,” Tony took a deep breath his mind moving a million miles a second as he figured out how to proceed. “Ok.” He reached out and placed a hand carefully on Steve’s shoulder. “I acknowledge that this is important for you and that it needs to be heard and worked through, and I do not dispute anything you have told me as false.” He waited a moment for his words to sink in before continuing, “Now I need you to listen to me, hear me and believe me.”

Tony waited for Steve to nod in agreement before he continued.

“I have never felt abused by you. I have never felt afraid of you or unsafe in your presence. I have never worried about how your temper would affect me physically. I have never, while in my right mind, altered my behavior to avoid your temper or to invoke it. When I think of our relationship, I am sad about how it ended yes, but what I remember is the most amazing and  _ equal _ partnership of my entire life. I remember a relationship with a kind and compassionate man whom I love and respect to this day and I feel gratitude to have had it in my life.”

Steve was looking at him with the most fragile hope and it took everything Tony had not to close the distance between them and kiss him.

“Tony,” Steve choked out. “Thank you.”

Tony smiled and he thought maybe all the love in his whole body was written across his face, “Any time.”

Steve turned away, and Tony let his hand, cold and empty, fall from Steve’s shoulder.

“It doesn’t change anything,” Steve said and Tony’s heart fell. Well of course. Of course it didn’t change anything, why would Tony even think it would? They had irreconcilable differences, and Steve didn’t want to be with him any ways. That hadn’t changed.

“Of course,” Tony agreed numbly.

“I’m really glad Tony,” Steve said with a small smile, “that I didn’t hurt you as much as I thought I had but it doesn’t change what I did. Or what I am.”

“Oh no,” Tony said. “No no no. Don’t do that.” Steve frowned but Tony ignored him and kept going. “As a good friend of mine likes to say ‘good is not a thing you are, it’s a thing you do.’ Well the same goes for evil. You don’t get to say that just because you’ve done some bad things, that you are a bad person forever, because that’s wrong and lazy and it doesn’t help anyone.

“I get that right now you are so full of self-disgust that you feel like you’ll never be able to do anything ever again, much less do anything good or right. But that feeling? It’s a lie. And more than that it’s a lie that’s going to hurt you and everyone around you, so don’t listen to it. Don’t push everyone away and stew in your own self-worthlessness until you become a lonely toxic bomb of self-loathing. Don’t go down that path. I know that path. I’ve been down that path. I have real estate on that path. I might very well be a shareholder in that path. And let me tell you it is not a place that does anyone any good.

“You wanna be good? You wanna do good? Then keep your friends. Keep your connections. Ask for help and believe that you are deserving of it when it comes.”

Tony took a breath. That was possibly a longer speech than he had really intended to make. Steve was looking at him in a way he hadn’t seen Steve look at him in over ten years. It was the look that Steve used to give him when he came out with a new suit, or created some new gadget for the Avengers to use.

“Yes sir,” Steve said and he was smiling, his eyes bright. Tony laughed and Steve continued. “Tony, will you help me.”

“Yes,” Tony said and he couldn’t stop himself, he moved towards Steve like a magnet pulled towards an opposing pole, put his body near Steve’s body and his hands on Steve’s shoulders, “Of course I will.”

Steve ducked his head grinning and then glanced up at Tony through his eyelashes and really how was that fair at all? No one should be allowed to look that beautiful.

“I’ve missed you,” he said softly, and Tony’s hands moved on their own up to Steve’s face so they could curl gently around something so precious and beloved. When Tony spoke it was soft and a little desperate, whispered in the space between their mouths.

“I’ve missed you too.”

Then they were kissing and Tony didn’t know how this had happened but it felt like home. They pulled apart and Tony rested his brow against Steve’s soaking in the nearness of the man he had loved for over two decades.

“And tomorrow we’re gonna go see a therapist.”

Steve laughed, and it sounded like hope.


End file.
